Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice
by bloody teddy
Summary: Shirosaki has always been a problem child and alway breaks others down, but now he meets someone he can't break what happens now? IchiXShiro fan fic
1. scaring the problem child

Shirosaki is a problem child. He has an attitude problem and is quite rebellious. His tongue ring is the proof of that. Shirosaki used to vandalize until he was arrested and sent to live with a guardian since the police thought the orphanage wasn't working out. All the psychiatrists blame Shirosaki's problems on his lack of parents and several mental dysfunctions. Shirosaki should be taking tons of meds for his "problems" but he thinks he's just fine and has flushed them all down the toilet.

Shirosaki was never one to like school. All the teachers hated him, he didn't understand what to do on his homework, and he usually copied the sucker next to him on tests. Shirosaki was a teachers nightmare. There was only two things that kept him from skipping class everyday. One of those things was lunch, He loved picking on others and hanging with his buds during lunch. The second thing was his friends, he wasn't allowed to hang with anyone after school due to his asshole of a guardian Zangetsu.

It was during Literature, and Shirosaki Could not sit still. He was trying to get a good look at the new kids face. He wanted to decide if this kid was worthy of his torture. Friendship was already out of the question, he was already caught by the popular group. His name is Ichigo Kurosaki. Shirosaki couldn't get a good look though, well not without getting yelled at by the teacher. Then Shirosaki decided he was going to pick on this kid anyway.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

Shirosaki thinks this to himself

After class Shirosaki saw the new kid, obviously nobody warned him of Shirosaki or his friends cause he was casually walking down the hall acting as if nothing could hurt him. He would find out he was wrong very soon. Shirosaki walked by Ichigo pushing him into the lockers and knocking his books from his hands. Shirosaki walks away laughing at the others misfortune.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

Shirosaki expected the kid to at least call him a name or something but he didn't he just crouched down and picked up his books. This made Shirosaki mad. This was someone that Shirosaki didn't upset on his first try. In his rage he ended up pushing a geek into a trash can and picking on a midget with the whole arm on forehead can't reach me thing. He didn't realize that he was being tested.

Through that day he did almost everything to Ichigo, from destroying his homework to beating the guy up. Nothing worked on this guy, the guy just would not break. And each time he did not break Shirosaki got frustrated and picked on someone else.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

After school he walked home like usual but was stopped. It was the Ichigo kid. There was a look of determination in his eyes. The look almost scared him.

"wut do ya want?" Shirosaki asks in a semi rude tone.

"I've been testing you Shirosaki." Ichigo states then continues, " your insecure about yourself and you hurt others to ease your pain. But when your torture doesn't work it pains you more and you must hurt more people to make you feel better."

"How do ya get off like that?!" Shirosaki suddenly yells at Ichigo. "Ya think ya know what makes me tick? Well yer wrong, got that?! I hurt others cuz I can, not the make myself fucking feel better!"

"Are you sure about that Shirosaki?" Ichigo responds.

The way Ichigo stated his name was almost taunting and really pissed Shirosaki off. It almost was like Ichigo was taunting him, Asking for a fight, but this could be a trap. What if a cop was waiting around the corner…. Then Shirosaki thought what if this guy was being paid by his guardian so that his guardian would know what he did at school?

Shirosaki did not respond to Ichigo's question, as a matter of fact it almost felt like he was gonna break. In truth Ichigo struck the nail right on the head. He hurt inside and others pain slightly remedied that pain he had inside. He wasn't about to reveal this to Ichigo though. Shirosaki wanted to beat Ichigo's head into the cement leaving it unrecognizable.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ichigo asked sweetly.

"FUCK OFF!" Shirosaki yelled closing his eyes hiding his almost uncovered weakness he felt as though he was going to explode. Shirosaki's hands curled to fists.

Shirosaki was about to turn and run the other way when suddenly he felt arms around him. He looks up in surprise to see Ichigo hugging him. The warm feeling from the embrace almost made Shirosaki happy. This was one feeling Shirosaki highly disliked.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

Shirosaki was appalled by Ichigo's actions. Anger welled up inside of him and he couldn't hold it anymore. Shirosaki pushed Ichigo away then hit him in the stomach. Shirosaki's hit was very powerful and actually made Ichigo crumple to the ground. When this happened he ran. Shirosaki ran home not caring that he would be bawled out by Zangetsu for being late.

He arrived at home to see Zangetsu wasn't even there. this was strange Zangetsu was always home. Shirosaki looked around, he searched for something perhaps a note or message. Shirosaki decided Zangetsu must be working.

After Shirosaki came to the conclusion of Zangetsu working he locked the door and went into his bedroom and laid down to think. He thought about his past and how it has hardened him. He thought about his hatred for happiness.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_


	2. rain

Shirosaki dreamt that night. He dreamt of dying and nobody missing him. The dream made him feel cold, cold was a feeling he did like. The cool sensation was much better than that of happiness. To Shirosaki the cold feelings were better because the cold never got your hopes up just to smash them down. They guaranteed something, to be cold nothing more.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

Shirosaki woke the next morning to the sound of rain. Shirosaki loved the rain. It was cold and insecure like himself. He laid there and listened to it hit the roof soothing his spirit. When it rained was the only time his spirit felt calm. Shirosaki was lucky it was Saturday for if it was a school day he would have been late.

The only thing that forced him from his peaceful state laying there was his stomach. Shirosaki was hungry, he hadn't eaten since lunch on Friday so he was entitled to be hungry. Shirosaki reluctantly got out of bed. He moseyed to the kitchen and looked for something to eat. All he found was plain cornflakes and milk.

Shirosaki poured the gross plain cereal into a bowl. Then he picked up the sugar. Instead of putting one or two spoons of sugar in the cereal like a normal person he dumped six or seven in. If he was going to eat plain cereal it was going to be as sweet as possible. Last he poured the milk, just enough for the cereal to float.

Then Shirosaki ate scarfing down the flakes until there wasn't any more floating grains. Then Shirosaki started to drink the milk. The milk was fine till he reached where the sugar had settled in the bottom.

"Oh YUCK!" Shirosaki states at his nasty encounter with the sugar. "Soggy sugar, that's just sick!"

"oh quit your complaining Shiro." a voice states from the living room. It was Zangetsu. "maybe if you hadn't put so much sugar in your cereal it wouldn't have happened."

"Oh Shut the fuck up." Shirosaki states in an almost comical voice. "I can put as much sugar in my cereal as I want."

Shirosaki went back to his room for some more peacefulness. The rain caused him to fall asleep, despite the amount of sugar he had just consumed. Shirosaki dreamt of war and being lost in it. Somebody was crying. Shirosaki knew who was crying…. It was an old friend of his crying cause she lost her brother to gang violence.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

Shirosaki woke then and laid there thinking. What now? Shirosaki thinks to himself about the grief on his old comrades all mostly ending up dead of in jail…. He was fortunate enough to be caught and moved to a peaceful city with no gang violence.

Shirosaki decided to go out side, so he got dressed and found his coat. He put on his Sneakers and walked out into the pouring rain. Shirosaki walked through the rain feeling at peace.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

Shirosaki went to the park, the soggy grass squishing underneath his feet. Shirosaki found a bench and sat down. He was already soaked despite his coat. he enjoyed the cold feeling of the rain. Then there was warmth, Another hug. Shirosaki turned slightly to see who it was. It was Ichigo, again, hugging him once more.

"WHAT IN THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'R DOING!" Shirosaki shouts in alarm.

"I'm hugging you Shiro." Ichigo calmly states back.

Ichigo starts kissing Shirosaki's neck softly making Shirosaki's heart almost stop. Ichigo pulled the neck of Shirosaki's Jacket and shirt to the side. The kissing continued to Shirosaki's shoulder where Ichigo left a nice hickey. As Ichigo gave him the small mark Shirosaki's heart began to race. Shirosaki was glad that it was in a hide able place. Ichigo then chuckled and kissed Shirosaki on the cheek. Ichigo then started to walk away, and Shirosaki's heart began to slow.

"You fucker." Shirosaki stated in Ichigo's direction as he pulled up the side of his coat covering the mark.

Ichigo just smiled as he walked away. Leaving Shirosaki to brood his hatred for him.

Shirosaki started to mumble to himself as he stood up. "Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice" he mumbled this all the way home.

When he reached his home he took off his coat and left it on the covered porch. Zangetsu would have been very upset if he had put his soaking wet coat inside. Zangetsu would be angry anyway with the amount of water Shirosaki would be tracking in. Shirosaki stood on the porch and thought about random things. Then he suddenly started to cry. It was a mood swing one of the problems he had been diagnosed with by his physiatrist. Bipolar syndrome, or drastic mood swings. Shirosaki knew he had it for real but he'd rather live with it then take meds and be a zombie.

Shirosaki ran inside and went strait to his room. The second his bedroom door was closed, he stripped and then looked for clothes he put on a plain black t-shirt and grey flannel pants. He left the room and grabbed a towel and dried his hair. After that he laid down and thought to himself,

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_


	3. Medication

Shirosaki had troubles sleeping that night. Everything was bugging him, the tone of light from the alarm clock, the dripping from the leaky sink in the room next to him. These are things Shirosaki never paid any attention, and didn't even care about. Just something was strange, different.

Shirosaki drifted off to sleep at around five in the morning. There was nothing in his dreams but absolute darkness and the sound of dripping blood. He woke at about noon the next morning.

Shirosaki got out of bed and walked into the dining room. There sitting on the table was a small white bag. Shirosaki Walked to the table and opened the bag. Inside were three white medication bottles.

"This one's for bipolar syndrome." Shirosaki states aloud when he picks up the first med. Bottle. "And this is for depression, the disease I know I don't have.." He states picking up another bottle and placing next to the Bipolar pills. "And you are…. My happy pills" he looks at the third bottle.

Shirosaki took the three bottles to the bathroom. Shirosaki didn't get why Zangetsu even tried with these stupid pills they only made Shirosaki zombie status. Shirosaki pulled off the lid to the antidepressants and flushed them down the toilet. Then he went to the happy pills. These he also flushed. But when he was about to dump the pills for his bipolar syndrome he was interrupted. Zangetsu walked into the bathroom and took the pills. Then Zangetsu dragged Shirosaki from the bathroom.

"Come on Shiro we're leaving." Zangetsu tells Shirosaki.

"Where are we going ol'man?" Shirosaki questions.

"To see your psychiatrist." was Zangetsu's reply.

Shirosaki was forced in the car and taken to the shrink's office. When there Shirosaki waited in the waiting room for about thirty minutes until the shrink called him in. when called in he was required to lay on a couch and talk about how he felt about certain subjects.

"Shirosaki I hear your getting violent at school again. You were doing so good. What happened?" the shrink kindly asked pushing up her glasses. "what is making you so angry?"

"Life is what angers me." Shirosaki replies coldly

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

After a wile of talking about pointless subjects and stating his views on subjects such as war, the main reason for the entire session came out. The shrink pulled photographs from a portfolio. The photo's were of the cover to his school note book, the inside of his locker, the surface of his desk, and his closet door. All these items have one thing in common, they all have the words: Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice scratched into their surfaces.

"What do these words mean Shirosaki?" the shrink asks in a sickeningly sweet tone. "Why are they all over your stuff?"

"That's none of ya Fucking business lady." Shirosaki says venomously.

"Well I can't leave till you tell me Shirosaki. So you might as well tell me now." The shrink counters.

It always pissed Shirosaki off when others won the battle. Shirosaki had no choice but to tell her the meaning of those words, well their significance to him. He didn't want to say but he did anyway.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, _

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

"the words are what I base my life around. I try to be Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice." Shirosaki admits, "It distances others from me, and makes me distance myself. It makes me evil."

Shirosaki wondered what kind of Medication he would get from this. The shrink let him leave and so he did. Zangetsu entered the shrinks office as Shirosaki left. Shirosaki started to walk home.

As he walked he decided to take a shortcut. Shirosaki went through an alleyway. As he walked something grabbed him and slammed his back against a wall. It was Ichigo. Ichigo smiled at Shirosaki as he pinned Shirosaki's arms to the wall so he wouldn't get hit.

Ichigo then leaned forward pressing his lips to Shirosaki's. Ichigo's tongue moved along Shirosaki's lips demanding entrance to Shirosaki's mouth. Shirosaki did not want to allow that, but for some reason he opened his mouth slightly allowing entrance. Shirosaki then did something that confused even himself. Shirosaki leaned into the kiss and let his own tongue enter Ichigo's mouth. Shirosaki even kind of enjoyed it. Then Ichigo broke the kiss smiling.

Shirosaki was disgusted by even his own feelings. Let alone his own actions. He felt happy, oh how he despised that feeling. Trying to make himself go back to normal all he could think was, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, his words of control.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow Shirosaki." Ichigo sweetly tells Shirosaki, letting go of Shirosaki's arms.

Ichigo then walked away leaving Shirosaki in the alley way alone. Shirosaki stood up and ran home. Shirosaki knew what he was going to do when he got home, Take the zombie pills. In Shirosaki's opinion no emotion was better than happiness.

When Shirosaki arrived at home he noticed that Zangetsu wasn't home. So he searched out the meds. When he found them he took a pill from the small white bottle. He went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. He was about to take the pill but then suddenly he didn't want to. He wanted to keep the happiness, then a thought struck through his mind.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

Shirosaki took a drink of water then dropped the pill into his mouth, and swallowed. After the gulp Shirosaki downed the rest of the water. After that his stomach growled. Shirosaki searched for something to eat. He got out bread, tuna fish, and mustard and made a sandwich. Afterwards he went and sat on the bed waiting for the pill to kick in.


	4. blood to the wall

Shirosaki sat on his bed waiting, waiting for now emotion. Suddenly everything went numb. All of Shirosaki's anger, as well as happiness disintegrated. Shirosaki looked around the room then everything went black.

When Shirosaki woke it was about three o'clock in the morning and the last thing he remembered was running home after being kissed. After a few minutes everything else came back to him. But now Shirosaki felt like crap. He felt like puking. He remembered then the only other time he felt like this, the morning after drinking half a gallon of vodka at his friend, Grimmjow's house.

Shirosaki walked to the bathroom next to his room. He crouched in front of the toilet and puked. He only had to puke once but even that left the muscles sore and tender. Shirosaki Stumbled back into his room and crumpled on his bed. Everything went dark again.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

Shirosaki woke up the next morning. It was about an hour till school started so he wasn't in a hurry. Shirosaki walks into the bathroom and undresses. Shirosaki turned on the water for the shower. He turned it to cold of course. Then he got in. The cold water made goose bumps pop up on his skin. To him it felt good.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

After he got dressed he left home and headed for school. He had taken the bi-polar medication with him. As he walked he dropped the bottle in the gutter. He was not going to get sick like that ever again.

At school Shirosaki Sat in the back of the room. He expected to be left alone since his friends are supposed to be out of town right now. He was lucky that Ichigo sat in the front of the room next to some of the more popular kids.

That day they had a substitute teacher. The substitute's voice droned and for all the classes he taught Shirosaki slept in the back of the room. During lunch Shirosaki hid himself from the rest of the world by hiding in a tree. He was not going to have an incident with Ichigo at school.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

Then after school he walked home he didn't see any sign of Ichigo. Shirosaki expected Ichigo to pull one of his random molests. Shirosaki almost wanted Ichigo to appear again and kiss him. The second that thought passed through his mind he slapped himself and forced himself to forget it.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

When Shirosaki got home Zangetsu was yet again gone. The old man's constant disappearances started to unnerve him. Shirosaki saw another bag of meds on the table. This time he took the bottles and sat down on the couch and read the bottles. The Bi polar meds were legit but when he read the bottles of the other two he realized something. The pills were placeboes of fake pills. They were trying to see if when he thought he was being helped by the meds if he acted better.

Shirosaki threw the bag of pills away and laughed to himself, like that would ever work. Then a hand touched Shirosaki's chin and forced his head up so Shirosaki was looking strait up. Right up at Ichigo. This terrified Shirosaki at first.

Then Shirosaki said "Wha-"

Only to be cut off by an upside down kiss from Ichigo. Ichigo then let him go and climbed over the couch so that he sat next to Shirosaki. Ichigo smiled at him.

"Your guardian Zangetsu says I can enter the house, I'm here to help you get over your depression." Ichigo said, smile turning into a mischievous smirk.

All Shirosaki could think was

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, _

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

Then Ichigo leaned forward and pressed his lips against Shirosaki's lips. Ichigo's tongue came out and traced along Shirosaki's bottom lip demanding entrance. As soon as Shirosaki allowed entrance the kiss became heated and Ichigo pushed Shirosaki over, mind you they are still kissing, getting on top of Shirosaki. Ichigo pressed himself against Shirosaki and embraced him.

Shirosaki Had never felt like this before and he couldn't even bring his control words to mind. Instead Shirosaki wrapped his arms around Ichigo returning the embrace. Shirosaki was truly happy and he couldn't force himself to despise the feelings this time. Shirosaki then pressed his lips to Ichigo's.

But then Ichigo's watch beeped and Ichigo had to go. Shirosaki was kind of bummed out. But Ichigo kissed him and smiled. Shirosaki knew he'd come back.

After Ichigo left Shirosaki grew cold again. Shirosaki went to his room and insulted himself over and over again for allowing Ichigo to do that. He also hated himself for allowing happiness to overwhelm him. Shirosaki took a knife from under his mattress. He cut open the top of his index finger on his right hand and opened his closet door. Then he wrote over and over on the wall in the back of the closet:

Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice.

Shirosaki wrote these words as if he would die if he didn't. then Zangetsu came home. It was as if he knew something was wrong for he went strait to Shirosaki's room finding him sitting on the floor of his closet writing the words on the wall. The wall was mostly covered when he arrived.

Zangetsu grabbed Shirosaki and pulled him away from the wall. He noticed Shirosaki was in a trance like state and was forced to strike the teenager.


	5. text messages

The sudden strike knocked Shirosaki right out of his trance, but strait into a state of shock. Zangetsu helped Shirosaki to his feet. Shirosaki looked around at the room, it was almost like he wasn't aware of his surroundings before. Shirosaki then noticed the writing on the wall, and he started to shake. The shock overwhelmed Shirosaki then, and Shirosaki collapsed, a black out.

Shirosaki woke the next day his face hurting and he was laying on the floor. Shirosaki was at first confused but then remembered last night and shook off the confusion. Shirosaki then walked out of his room, down the hallway and into the living room. Zangetsu sat on the couch like normal.

Shirosaki started to walk back to his room staring down at the floor.

"Hey Shiro….." it was Zangetsu

"what is it?" Shirosaki responded quietly in an almost depressing tone.

"I've decided you don't have to go to school today." Zangetsu says in a wise tone. " you had a rough day yesterday and you need some rest."

"Thank you…" the words seemed strange almost alien as they came from Shirosaki.

Shirosaki walked into his room and laid on the bed. He looked at the inside of his closet. The blood had dried and had blackened already. It was hard to believe all that blood had come from just his finger. Shirosaki looked at the nice little scab on his finger. He loved cuts and scabs they showed injury that was bearable.

After sometime Shirosaki got hungry, like usual. So Shirosaki went to the kitchen. This time Shirosaki found gold…. Cinnamon pop tarts, a food with no preparation. Shirosaki took the pop tarts to his room and ate the sweet pastry things as he laid down.

Shirosaki got lost in thought. He thought about his situation with Ichigo mainly. This problem made Shirosaki feel caged, or chained down. Shirosaki couldn't go anywhere without being paranoid about Ichigo randomly appearing. Then Shirosaki received a text message on his cell phone.

Psycho Kitty: Where u at?

Ghost: Home, the old fart let me stay from school.

Psycho Kitty: lucky punk.

Shirosaki and Grimmjow were texting. Obviously Grimmjow was back, finally Shirosaki's friends were back. Then someone else sent him a text.

Tattoos: hey shit head why not at school?

Ghost: stayed home

Tattoos: the ol fart let u?

Ghost: ya, it strange.

Tattoos was Renji, Shirosaki's other friend. Well Shirosaki continued texting his friends for several hours that day. He was bringing up the cell phone bill but he didn't care. He finally gets to talk to his friends again. He was sure to arrive at school tomorrow. Then he recived a text from a number he didn't recognize. All it said was "I love you."


	6. who could love me?

Sorry this chapter took so long My little sister has been staying up late with me so I couldn't write anything. She was just trying to be irritating. Well I finally got the chance to write it and here it is.

* * *

The text message scared Shirosaki, but also made his stomach flutter. It was unexpected and made Shirosaki fall off the bed. Shirosaki Just stared at the message in disbelief.

_Love? How could someone love him? He was the hated one. The monster. The problem._

Shirosaki's eyes became slightly teary as he continued staring at the text. Drops of salty water fell onto Shirosaki's phone and hand. Shirosaki tried to think the control words but it was too late. Ichigo loved him and Shirosaki felt something for Ichigo. These feelings were so powerful they made Shirosaki cry.

If Shirosaki were to love Ichigo he would ruin Ichigo's life. That was the thought that ran through Shirosaki's mind. Shirosaki crawled back on his bed and texted the response "why me?" and then laid down to sleep. He knew Renji and Grimmjow wouldn't be responding anytime soon. Shirosaki could tell they got caught texting in class. Shirosaki closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone cold as ice._

It was raining in his dream. But Shirosaki did not enjoy this rain for it rained ink, and blood. Shirosaki was standing at the base of a rocky hill. Shirosaki ran up the hill, but when he reached the top he looked out on miles of tombstones, and bloody bones. Shirosaki had seen this place before. Every time he saw this retched area someone would die. Someone Shirosaki knew.

Shirosaki woke with a start. Who was it this time? Renji? Grimmjow? Zangetsu? Or was it Ichigo?

Shirosaki looked up at his clock and saw it said five o'clock PM So Shirosaki decided to find out who it was. Shirosaki got dressed and left home. Before he walked out he noticed Zangetsu in the kitchen putting something together. So it wasn't Zangetsu. He called Renji and Renji picked up sounding bored and tired.

That left two other important people. Grimmjow nor Ichigo picked up their phones so he had to find them. Then he found out who died. His principal had fallen out of his apartment window. Sidewalk pancake. Shirosaki had gotten worked up over nothing significant.

Shirosaki Walked down the street not knowing what to do now. His day had already been wasted. So he just walked. He ended up in an old overgrown field. The grass was about three feet high so if you were to lay down you would disappear.

Shirosaki laid in the tall grass. Expecting to be left alone to think. Shirosaki was wrong of coarse. After a little while of thinking Someone showed up. It was Ichigo. Ichigo stood above Shirosaki looking down at him.

"Hey." Ichigo says with a smile. "Watcha doing out here?"

"Laying down, and thinking." Shirosaki responds

"About what?" Ichigo asks

"I'm thinking about a lot of things…." Shirosaki states in a novel like way.

Ichigo sat down next to Shirosaki. Shirosaki's arms were at his sides ripping out blades of grass. Ichigo's hand moved over to Shirosaki's hand and clasped it. To Ichigo it felt like a hole in his heart was filled when he touched Shirosaki. Ichigo leaned down and lightly kissed Shirosaki on the cheek. Ichigo loved the feel of Shirosaki's soft skin.

Ichigo's kiss caused Shirosaki to smile. Shirosaki was starting to admit to himself that he loved Ichigo, but he forced himself to stop. It was too soon. Shirosaki needed to get to know Ichigo first. But Shirosaki's attitude, as Shirosaki knew very well, wouldn't allow that. Shirosaki was cold for too long.

Then Ichigo leaned over Shirosaki, his warm brown eyes staring into Shirosaki's golden eyes. Ichigo leaned down and pressed his lips to Shirosaki's.


	7. The psychiatrist

hey sorry this took so long!

* * *

Shirosaki accepted Ichigo's kiss and just laid there on the ground. It was like a reversal of what he previously thought. All the anger was gone and Shirosaki's beliefs like melted.

Ichigo broke the kiss and stared into Shirosaki's golden irises. Anyone could get lost in those beautiful eyes. Shirosaki's smile then grew into a grin as he raised his head pressing his lips to the other teenagers. This time it was Shirosaki who demanded entrance by sliding his tongue across Ichigo's bottom lip. Ichigo opened his mouth and allowed entrance of Shirosaki's tongue. Shirosaki's Tongue explored every crevasse of Ichigo's mouth causing Ichigo to moan.

After the kiss Shirosaki sat up making Ichigo move out of the way. Shirosaki then Looked at his watch and saw the time. He was supposed to be home almost ten minutes ago. Shirosaki almost flipped.

"I've got to go." Shirosaki said to Ichigo as he stood up.

"Awww, but why." Ichigo sounded disappointed.

"Because if I don't go now I'm dead." Shirosaki responded as he ran off.

On the way home Shirosaki constantly thought: _Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice, Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice. _Over and over again Dampening his mood so that Zangetsu wouldn't be suspicious over Shirosaki's happy mood. That was the last thing Shirosaki needed.

But when Shirosaki walked in Zangetsu and his psychiatrist Stood there in the living room Waiting for him. This Scared Shirosaki A LOT. Zangetsu never called the shrink to come to the house. And She was smiling at him this unnerved him.

"Why don't you come and sit down Shiro." The psychiatrist Said in a sickly sweet tone that made Shirosaki want to puke. Even worse was that she used his pet name which he dearly hated.

Shirosaki sat down on the couch as Zangetsu stood about ten feet away and the creepy shrink lady sat next to him.

"Can you explain why you haven't been taking your pills Shiro?" the shrink asked. "They will help you out ya know."

"That's not true," Shirosaki retorted. " One set of pills are Placebos, and the others zombify me and make me sick, like drank a half gallon of vodka the night before sick. And I don't need no fucking pills for depression."

"watch your mouth shiro." Zangetsu states.

The shrink tensed at Shirosaki's comments. "well maybe if we cut the dosage back a litt-"

"I don't need the stupid pills okay!" Shirosaki stood up obviously angry.

"Sit down Shirosaki." Zangetsu commanded.

Shirosaki planted his but unhappy with his situated. It was times like this that made Shirosaki hate life. People like the creepy shrink lady and Zangetsu made him detest regular humans. Shirosaki wanted to punch the woman sitting next to him but he didn't.

"I heard about your trip yesterday Shiro." The shrink asked. " Care to explain?"

"I don't know what your talking about.." was Shirosaki's response.

"I think you do Shirosaki." the Shrink says with her sickly voice.

"WILL YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!" Shirosaki screams and stops out of the room.

From there Shirosaki Runs to his room slamming the door and locking the door. Shirosaki walks to his bed and falls on it. Then he thought of his day and how happy he was earlier. Then he caught himself. He was giving in, That couldn't happen No way!

So then his normal control and center ran through his mind.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

That night Shirosaki dreamt that he was holding someone close. The warm feeling from the other person made his heart jump, and made him feel strong. The other person was Ichigo, Shirosaki could tell by the soft orange hair. Then Ichigo Snuggled closer to Shirosaki probably for warmth. Shirosaki just put his head on Ichigo's and closed his eyes.

The next morning Shirosaki woke up to the irritating scream of his alarm clock . He did not want to be awakened but he was anyway. Then his dream came back to him. He had to be cold again he didn't want to be suspicious to his friends either.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice_


	8. Vampires

I had fun with this chapter, it puts different perspective to the rest of the story.

* * *

Shirosaki Got up and got dressed. He moseyed over to his bedroom door and unlocked it. He went to the kitchen. He grabbed some toast and then walked into the hallway leading to the front door. He grabbed his book bag on the way out.

Then Shirosaki's cell phone Buzzed. It was a message from Renji. It said: Waiting outside hurry up. So Shirosaki Walked out side and sure enough Renji and Grimmjow waited outside. Grimmjow was half asleep, and Renji looked a little irritated.

Class dragged that day. Shirosaki couldn't wait for lunch that day and nor could Grimmjow or Renji. They just sat in class and impatiently watched the clock. When lunch hit they all ran to the bathroom and changed.

Shirosaki changed into Tight Black torn jeans, a tight black t-shirt, and a black and grey striped hoodie. Grimmjow changed into A pair of baggy black jeans covered in straps and a baggy black t-shirt that looked like it had a blood splatter on the front. Renji wore black pants and a white button up t-shit thing (ya know the ones they wear with school uniforms) and a red and black striped tie.

They all wore black converse, spiked bracelets and wrist bands. Each had a pair of black leather finger gloves. Grimmjow and Shirosaki put in their earrings. And Shirosaki put in his eyebrow piercing.

After getting changed the three snuck out the back of the school and jumped the fence to freedom. None of them realized they were seen. They also didn't realize they were followed. The three just ran down the alleyways going to a specific location, The bus stop.

When the three got to the bus stop there was a bunch of people there. Most of them looked like Vampires, there faces were so pale they were dressed in similar fashions to the three boys. They were probably doing the same thing the three boys were.

The One following the three easily hid in the group of people since there was quite the crowd. The bus arrived shortly after the boys. Grimmjow picked seats for the three in the very back. Their stalker Sat in the front So he wouldn't be noticed.

"Its been a wile since we got to do this." Shirosaki said with an evil grin.

" No its been too long since we did this." Grimmjow Corrected Shirosaki.

"We're gonna be soo dead when we arrive at home in two days." Renji Snickered.

"So are ya nervous bout getting your teeth modified Renji, Shirosaki?" Grimmjow grinned.

"Not at all Grimmjow." Shirosaki says in a collected sort of way. "We got our tongues pierced right? Like getting our teeth pointed is gonna be worse on us."

"I agree." was Renji's response.

When the bus arrived at the town over almost everyone got off. Some went off in different directions probably getting tattoos, or clothing. Getting ready for tomorrows occasion. The three boys went to the place where they would get their teeth modified. They stood outside for a bit and counted their cash to make sure they had the money.

"Alright we got enough money." Grimmjow stated, "hopefully we can get this done at the same exact time. Oh and just think of the motto it should ease the pain a bit. What's our motto again?"

"Sharp as Needles-" Shirosaki

"Hard as stone-" Renji

"Cold as ice." Grimmjow

The three walked into the Building to get their teeth modified. Lucky for them they were the only ones of the day so they got it done all at the same time. But wile they had the meeting someone listened from around the corner of the building. It was Ichigo who had been following them. He wore a black beanie to hide his orange hair and wore a black hoodie with plain black pants. This is why he was unnoticed at the bus stop and on the bus.

"Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice?" He mumbled to himself. these words confused Ichigo he didn't quite understand them. Was the one he loved really that depressing? Ichigo knew Shirosaki had issues but he didn't think they were that bad. And there were two others like that too?

After the three stumbled out of the building all of their mouths hurt but hey, that's to be expected. It was about four o'clock it took about three hours to have their teeth completely modified.

They then walked down a couple streets they walked into an alleyway and approached someone. The person nodded at them and let them through a door in the side of the building.

From there they walked up a set of stairs into a storeroom for the club next door. Here the boys crashed till it was night. Then they left the building and went to a tattoo parlor that operated night and day.

Here each of them got words tattooed on the back of their necks. In gothic print (font style EngrvrsOldEng) Shirosaki's neck had Sharp as needles, Renji's Hard as stone, and Grimmjow's had Cold as ice.

Afterward they wandered around town for the night and as soon as day break hit they were back in the storeroom. Amazingly Ichigo hadn't followed them since they entered the tooth place. No he was off doing other things.

The next night the Boys woke, their mouths and necks no longer hurt and they changed into similar clothes. The three boys left the storeroom and approached the entrance to the club called black disaster. They stood in front of the club entrance.

"okay guys remember when we are here we can break the motto." Grimmjow grins now having vampire fangs. "Live a little, enjoy yourself."

The three boys entered the club. The club was no ordinary club it was a Vamp hang out and there was a celebration tonight.

Ichigo approached the Club unaware that His love was inside. He had heard about the place and wanted to check it out. Ichigo liked to do things of different culture so he was gonna check this place out. He wore all black so he wouldn't stand out in a club full of people who claimed to be vampires. He also wore a hat to cover his hair.

* * *

hehe strange twist of events eh? i made then vampires... er wannabe vampires... I was bored and it didn't help that i'm tweaked out on like six energy drinks.

kinda creepy that Grimmjow and renji both live lives Just like Shirosaki.

Next chapters gonna get good it will be chapters like next one that make this story M rated... hehe

Please Review those are much appreciated and if people hate this chapter enough then I might remove it and redo it.

* * *


	9. allowance of warmth

this was extremely difficult to write with my busy schedule today. Its not the best I've written.

* * *

Ichigo stepped into the dim club. Everything was red or black, and there were tons of people there. All or most of them were dinking something red. At first he thought they had blood, and then he realized it must have been red wine or red vodka.

He surveyed the club then he noticed the three boys sitting in a booth near the back of the club. They were taking shots of something back there and laughing. Ichigo never saw Shirosaki like that. Shirosaki was really happy and so was his friends which was weird to him for he never saw any of them being so happy.

Ichigo went to his own booth and ordered some vodka. Ichigo was amazed that they actually gave him the Vodka. They seemed not to care if you're underage in this place.

Shirosaki was the only one who hadn't left to go pass out in the storage room. Their table was covered in empty shot glasses and alcohol. Shirosaki looked at the mess feeling sorry for who ever has to clean tables. Then it overcame him. He had drunken to much fluids, He had to pee. Shirosaki Walked to the bathroom and used the urinal.

Then when he was washing his hands someone entered the restrooms. When Shirosaki turned to leave Ichigo grabbed his shoulders, and forced Shirosaki to stare in his eyes. Ichigo startled Shirosaki cause for one Ichigo was in the same town and club as his. Two he had a strange look in his eyes one he had a strange look in his eyes.

Shirosaki could smell the alcohol on Ichigo's breath. Judging by the sent he had drank more than Shirosaki himself did. Then Ichigo's hands fell off Shirosaki's shoulders and one of them grasped Shirosaki's hand. Then Ichigo Leaned forward and pressed his lips to Shirosaki's. Shirosaki kissed back knowing really he could do nothing.

Ichigo Licked Shirosaki's bottom lip like he always did, and Shirosaki gave entrance. Ichigo's tongue found the modified teeth and licked at them slightly cutting Ichigo's tongue allowing blood to be mixed with saliva. This new taste made Shirosaki moan, but it was muffled by Ichigo's mouth.

Shirosaki's pants started to get tight and then Ichigo's hand wandered down to Shirosaki's belt carefully releasing the clasp and undoing the belt. He then popped Shirosaki's top button on his jeans open. Then Ichigo UN did the zipper making Shirosaki tense up as Ichigo continued to kiss Shirosaki.

"You're hard." Ichigo said in a lusty kind of way.

Ichigo then stuck his hand in Shirosaki's underwear and slid his hand around Shirosaki's erect member. Just the touch made Shirosaki moan. Ichigo pulled it out of its hiding place and tightened his grip as he started to pump his hand back and fourth making Shirosaki moan with pleasure. Another pulse of pleasure went through Shirosaki at every pump.

Shirosaki moved his head to Ichigo's neck and he began Kissing and sucking on Ichigo's shoulder, and neck. As the pumping and the pleasure continued Shirosaki could feel it build up. Shirosaki bit Ichigo's shoulder using his fangs as the foggy white fluid came from his member and got all over Ichigo's hand. A red trickle came from the two holes Shirosaki left on Ichigo's shoulder.

Ichigo released Shirosaki's member as Shirosaki let go of Ichigo's shoulder. Ichigo Pressed his lips back to Shirosaki's for only a moment then he stepped back and licked the cum from his fingers. Shirosaki Put himself away and redid his pants and belt. He stepped forward hugging Ichigo.

He would let himself be happy for once. Just for tonight but tomorrow was a different story. But for now he would let himself be happy, let the warmth overtake him. Ichigo was shocked at the embrace. Not thinking Shirosaki would ever do such a thing.

After the embrace the two boys departed the Club. One left fore the Store room where his friends slept the other towards the hotel he was staying at.

Shirosaki curled up on the bed matt in the corner of the room thinking on how Ichigo wouldn't remember Shirosaki's strange behavior. Shirosaki was a little sad but happy about it all the same.

* * *

this was interesting when writing, well it got M rated a little...

Please review, I'll have Shirosaki's friends in the story alot more from here on ok...


	10. ice prince

hehe sorry this took so long, I had to recover from my little episode.

he.. I hate those zombie pills just as much as Shirosaki does!

* * *

The next morning Shirosaki felt as if he was hit by a truck. His head hurt, his body ached and he had to puke. He ran out of the storeroom and puked in the alley way. Shirosaki walked back into the storeroom to find Grimmjow and Renji awake but they both looked like death.

"I don't wanna go home…" Grimmjow whined pathetically.

"Hey stop complaining, who would" Renji snapped at Grimmjow, "We get to face certain death as soon as we arrive at the bus stop back at home."

"Get over it" was what Shirosaki stated to both his friends.

"My parents are gonna kill me for this hangover." Renji stated dumbly.

"No your parents are gonna kill you for skipping out of town fer a couple of days." Grimmjow corrected Renji.

Shirosaki Sat on his bed mat. He was lost in thought mainly about last night. _Did Ichigo remember? If he did, did he think it was a dream?_ Shirosaki Looked a little depressed with these thoughts. His friends wouldn't question his expression. The sad look was a common look for Shirosaki.

Grimmjow noticing the sad expression did what he always did to make his friend feel better, "Hey boys what's our sayin' again?"

This caused Shirosaki to snap out of his depressing state suddenly, "Sharp as needles-"

Renji continued, "hard as stone-"

"cold as ice." Grimmjow finished with a smile.

With that the three boys started to get ready to leave. Even though they knew punishment was on its way. They packed their stuff and left the little storage room and headed towards the bus stop.

On the way there the three boys where silent. Not a word was said but there was only one thought between the three.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice._

_Fade the hangover._

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice._

_Grind away the happiness._

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice._

_Strengthen ourselves, for happiness is a curse._

All of the warmth from Ichigo that Shirosaki had obtained from the previous night, dissolved. Only sadness and hate remained. Happiness grew cold and turned to distain.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice._

* * *

Ichigo woke up the next morning not knowing what happened the night before. He got up and walked into the bathroom. His shoulder then suddenly hurt so he looked at it. Two perfect holes on his shoulder.

"What the hell?" Ichigo stated looking at the bite confused. "I got bitten…. By who?"

Then it stuck Ichigo the bus was gonna leave in half an hour. So he got dressed and packed his crap. He left the room keys at the front desk, then he took off running. He ran to the bus stop. He was glad he had worn his beanie and large hoodie, cause when he got there Shirosaki was also there. Standing there waiting for the bus. But when he saw Shirosaki the bite make on his shoulder got hot and ached a bit. This made Ichigo smile.

_So it was my Ice prince who bit me eh?_

* * *

yeah... I'll start writing as much as possible again... and gomenasai for how long it was with out an update...


	11. Punishment and memories

The bus arrived a couple minutes after Ichigo came to the bus stop. There were only a few people there so he knew he would be noticeable. Ichigo really didn't care he was wearing a hat so he wouldn't be recognized.

The three where the first on the bus at arrival. They all sat in the back like usual ready to be taken back to hell. Shirosaki noticed Ichigo sitting at the front of the bus. There was two things that gave him away, one was the small bits of orange hair poking out from the bottom of the hat. Two was the sweatshirt. Shirosaki had seen Ichigo wear the sweatshirt before, as a matter of fact Ichigo wore it the day Ichigo gave him a hickey. Well Shirosaki did get him back for that..

_So Ichigo trying to hide your identity from me?_

After that The three boys didn't speak on the entire trip home, they only thought thing The numbing control words,

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice._

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice._

When the bus arrived two cars were parked next to the bus stop. Two people stood at the stop itself. When the boys got off a man got out of an expensive black limo. This man was tall with brown hair. This was Aizen Grimmjow's foster father. Aizen walked up to Grimmjow and grabbed his ear dragging him to the limo. When they reached the limo however Aizen slammed Grimmjow's head into the car and let go of his ear. The ordered the boy into the car.

A red haired woman was standing at the stop. With only a glare Renji started walking down the sidewalk his mother following behind. Zangetsu got out of the other car so did the shrink lady.

"ICHIGO!" A blonde man called out to the boy in the beanie and hoodie. "YOUR FATHERS GONNA KILL YOU!" He said it in almost a sing song way. He even laughed.

The man wore a strange white and green hat and had a small fan. Ichigo left with this guy. Shirosaki gathered the guy must be Ichigo's father's friend or something.

Zangetsu approached Shirosaki. He seemed pretty irate. The shrink followed Zangetsu.

"Shiro," Zangetsu stated.

Then Zangetsu Slapped Shirosaki across the face. No look of pain crossed Shirosaki's face only guilt of grief it was hard to tell which one. But Zangetsu's hand had grazed over one of Shirosaki's modified teeth. Zangetsu noticed this and lifted Shirosaki's lip with one finger.

"Shiro, what is this?" Zangetsu questioned.

"Its nothing." Shirosaki pulled away from Zangetsu.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice._

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice._

Shirosaki prevented himself from showing weakness. He would never show weakness, especially toward Zangetsu. He just walked over to the car and got in the back where Zangetsu took him to the shrink's office.

_Sharp as needles, hard as stone, cold as ice._

After the Shrink had questioned him for about an hour, they released him and let him go home. Shirosaki was forced to stay in his home till further notice. Shirosaki went to his room and laid on the bed. Cold thoughts wouldn't make him fall asleep, it just wouldn't work. Then he thought of his embrace with Ichigo. He fell right to sleep.

As Shirosaki slept he dreamt. He dreamt of his past. He was at his grandmother's funeral, then he heard gunfire. Something pushed him down and then he heard screaming. All he could do was lay there with his eyes closed. Then it got quiet and he sat up and looked around. Everyone he loved all his family lay there unmoving clothes tattered with holed and they were covered in blood.

It continued to the family funeral it was at a graveyard of massive proportions. Right next to a rocky hill. This was the graveyard of death it had grass though instead of bloody bones.

Due to his dreams Shirosaki cried wile he slept. Someone sat on Shirosaki's bed and leaned down kissing Shirosaki on the cheek, and running fingers through Shirosaki's stark white hair. This woke Shirosaki from his painful memories. He looked up to see Ichigo's soft brown eyes. This made Shirosaki feel warm. It was almost like the memories dissapeared.

* * *

Yeah I made Aizen grimmjow's foster dad...hehe I'm mean.

This was a depressing chapter... oh well


	12. Chapter 12

yeah its short srry well I wanted to post something before I couldn't post for a week... cuz I'll be gone...soo anyway here it is.

* * *

"how long ya been here?" Shirosaki asks Ichigo in a groggy way.

"bout fifteen minutes…" Ichigo responds with a smile.

"how did you get in?" Shirosaki asks, "Did Zan-"

"Zangetsu is sound asleep on the couch." Ichigo cut Shirosaki off, then held up a screwdriver. "I kinda broke in through your window. Oh and your window locks suck I easily opened the locked window."

Shirosaki could only smile. He was too tired to care about making himself cold.

"So Yer a trouble maker too eh?" Shirosaki smiled.

"yep." Ichigo responded with a smile. "oh, and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow."

"sure." was Shirosaki's response.

"well I've got to go, I'll see you tomorrow." Ichigo says smiling then leaning down pressing his lips to Shirosaki's.

Ichigo got up from Shirosaki's bed, and walked to the window opening it.

"till tomorrow Shiro." Ichigo said slipping out the window.

The next morning Shirosaki woke up and did his normal morning thing. He found there was nothing edible in the house so he grabbed a few bucks and headed out. His first stop was the mini store down the street where he bought a breakfast sandwich.

Afterwards he went to the grassy field and waited for Ichigo to show up, after all he did say he would hang out with him. Shirosaki suspected that it wasn't Hanging out that Ichigo wanted. Shirosaki waited anyway.

After a wile Shirosaki started to get bored and started to play with random things like the grass, or his shoelaces. Then suddenly arms wrapped around him. It startled Shirosaki at first cause he didn't even hear Ichigo come up behind him.

Ichigo then started to kiss Shirosaki's neck. It sent shivers down Shirosaki's spine. Ichigo kissed to the shoulder and then left a small dark mark on Shirosaki's shoulder. After Ichigo let go Shirosaki turned around and looked at Ichigo.

"I'm gonna get you for that." Shirosaki smirked

* * *

I make vids too

/user/xXBloodyTeddyXx


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